


Straight or not?

by Scrange



Series: Holby City Spoof Scenes [2]
Category: Berena - Fandom, Campwolfe - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 08:12:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8482066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scrange/pseuds/Scrange
Summary: [one of a series of Holby City spoof scenes - all iconic dialogues (mostly between Bernie and Serena) which are hopefully recognisable. All are written keeping as closely as possible to the original, but with wildly, and generally ridiculously, divergent meanings. This one spoofs a scene in S18 E20, but was written in response to the fandom's horror-struck reaction to spoilers saying that Serena will briefly get back together with Robbie.**Many apologies here for my rudeness about Ukraine, which was all done for comic effect - please take it as a reflection of Serena's frustration, not a reflection of my honest opinion!** ]Wherein our heroines pretend to talk about hot beverages, but are really discussing the theme park ride that is the average soap relationship, and how some passengers love to sit way up the front, and then throw up when it loops the loop …





	

Serena  
*briskly, through gritted teeth * One night stand, quick as you can, please. 

Bernie  
*rolls her eyes dryly, with just a minor undercurrent of … could that be nostalgia in there?* Do you remember when a random shag was just a random shag? You know, to spur the plot along?

Serena  
Hmmm. *ruefully* ‘Straight or not?’ is all they care about on days like today.

Bernie  
*with a coarse laugh closely approximating a penguin on heat* Aye, aye?! Todgers ahoy, eh?

Serena  
*in exasperation* I’ve got sapphic angst coming out of my EARS. What I wouldn’t give for a calm secondment in some god-forsaken former Russian province. Or even the quieter life with Hanssen in Sweden, right now.

Bernie  
*sighing* Yep, a dose of frostbite and potato vodka is *quite* the relief, I can tell you.

Serena  
*eyeing the script that’s just been thrust into her hands* Oh, thanks. *casts her eye over it, registers a certain name, and shoots a disdainful look skyward* Right, must dash. And you didn’t see me! The fandom would have have my spanx for garters if they found out I couldn’t get through a heavy ship without a policeman’s truncheon to keep me going.


End file.
